Posts Tagged 'Porn'


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Adultery Porn = Adultery!?!

A man bought a hidden camera DVD called "Affairs with Others' Wives" and was shocked - shocked! - to find some actual, real adultery on the DVD: a video of his wife fucking his friend. The cheated-on husband then took an opportunity to get all stabby on the friend, but - dude - what did you expect to see on the DVD? It says right there.

Feminist Porn Winners!

If you're unsure of how to avoid misogynous porn, here's the list to check out: the Feminist Porn Award winners for 2009. Gracie has been getting this kind of stuff for review for quite a while; the "Teen Asian Cum Random Words Boob 55" stuff never gets watched, but the Feminist kind usually got reviewed. It's not to say the feminist stuff lacks any misogyny whatsoever - remember, some people think it's hot - but those in charge of making feminist porn are probably treating the talent better than those cam sites you subscribed to.

Porn: Everywhere!

Porn is mainstream, according to the New Zealand Herand, in an article that's surprisingly balanced, covering both the plusses and minusses espoused by the general public. Nearly everything else I've read in the media of late focuses on, "wah, it abuses women and gives men a false ideal of sex!" without much evidence, or the counterpoint, "wah, Power Rangers teaches violence and gives children a false ideal of independence and power!" or "wah, Sex In The City gives thirty-somethings an unreasonable ideal of dating and rent prices in New York City!" Hmmm...those kids who were raised on Power Rangers over the past 16 years are in their twenties now, and consuming all that porn. Maybe there is something to the idea. All entertainment must come in the form of quiet conversations about mundane parts of daily life, such as the length of time a bus ride lasted! We cannot stand too much excitement! I agree, though; there is an awful lot of mysogyny in porn - but the Hays Code cleaned up the regular movie industry without dismantling it; porn isn't the problem, a sense of quality is what needs to be fixed.

Gay Porn = Suspended!

So, let's say you want to film a porno, to get a little scratch for tuition. Um, well, when the tuition goes to a Christian school, you might want to rethink your choice of career. Dude, like with Miss California - don't you fucking realize that Christians are the ones who disapprove of your life? Getting nude, being gay, performing in porn: those are all things that Christians say are against their moral fibre. If you think any or all of those are fine, you shouldn't be enrolling at a school which specifically says some or all of those are against their moral expectations. People send their kids to private religious schools because of their Conservative bent. You want to get naked, you want to fuck strangers for money, excellent - but stop pretending you're some good Christian, recognize yourself for what you are. Christian Conservatives get way too much support from stupid people who don't know any better. Mr. Gay Christian: keep doing your porns, go to a public university, and your life will be happier if you be Christian in your own porn-loving, boy-fucking way. Fuck the Christian establishment.

Happy MILFer's Day!

You know what holiday is coming up? Yes, this Sunday is MILFer's Day, the one day of the year when fucking somebody's mom is a government-sanctioned event. Sounds creepy, don't it? MILF, however, has grown into one of the hugest genres of pornography, and the general accusation is a Oedipal association with the 18-25 porn-buying generation. But, you're here, so you want to know what I think: I think it's that the whole teen genre sucks soooo bad that the only hot models are in their thirties and forties. Seriously, have you seen some of the gorgeous MILFs they get? Especially the ones that have been in porn for twenty years; it used to be a thirty-something porn star was all makeupped and augmented to look younger - now that the genre has been around a few years and the business needs hot thirty- and forty-somethings, these gorgeous ladies are back in public. The "teen" and twenty-something women are all bags-of-antlers whose nipples point the wrong directions because their implants are too big. MILF porn isn't hot because they're MILFs - it's because they're fucking hot.

Porn: Better Than Everything!

What is porn better than? Darn near everything, according to Cracked, which makes it true because everything they do is awesome. Porn is better than your mom's chicken and rice. Porn is better than getting a free car wash with 8 gallons of gas. Porn is better than finding a $20 in the work parking lot, just before you're going out with your friends for drinks. Porn is fucking awesome like that.

CA Trains Pronographers!

California has something called the Employment Training Panel, a state-subsidized worker training program that allows people in need of a job to get more education, thus helping the state's economy. Oh, no - people who learn things use them to make porn! And not just any porn, but naughty, Sybian-riding, whips-and-chainsing porn at kink.com. Upon notification, ETP cancelled Kink.com's access to the state money, because it's much better that California employees be under-trained than competitive in the employee market. So Kink.com will have to hire already-trained people with better skills; it's so much different if the person gets training at a failed dot-com, and then hired by a porn studio. California's plan plan intends to help employees and the economy, but now the employee is punished because of the legal business they work for, rather than what they can do for the media industry (California's multimedia and film industry is small, anyhow). Way to use your brains, California! (via)

Jack Wranger on Fresh Air!

Jack Wrangler, gay porn icon (although he, so to speak, dipped his toes in regular porn, as well as other arts) died recently, and Fresh Air found an old dusty recording in their archives of an interview between Terry Gross and Jack Wrangler from 1985.

Pornacco!

Movie stars promote it, it's seen as chic and debonair, and society accommodates it at every turn. It's smoking back half a century ago, which this writer sees as a parallel to our current opinion of pornography. Well, sorta: first scroll down to "distinctions with a difference" which erodes 90% of the argument, and then it boils down to this: in the 1950s, society as a whole moralized against pornography, but let people decide for themselves on smoking. Today, smoking is controlled by society, while people are allowed to decide for themselves about pornography. The mechanism for both changes in attitude is markedly different, and it's unfair to think that pornography will follow the same path of cigarettes, even in the writer's own arguments. It would be helpful to believe what the writer has to say if she'd cite her sources: she claims porn incites sexual assault, causes divorces (one very biased source there), gets people fired, that the business has high margins and low cost just like tobacco - but when you write for a university think-tank, nobody expects you to actually know anything: as long as you write convincingly, nobody will take your FranklinCovey planner away. Watch for next week's article, "Pornography is the new child-beating" and "Pornography is the new locking up of pregnant teenagers" as other comparisons to the wholesome 1950s as viewed through very limited cultural contexts but fleshed out with thousands of words of speculation.

Marilyn Chambers Passes Away

Marilyn Chambers has passed away today; she was 56. A moment of silence for her; she has always been one of those porn-stars who has seemed very grounded, not the stereotype that is so undeserved in the industry.

Pilot BJ Fail!

Next time you're flying around some random pornstars, don't get a blow job. Wait until you've landed: a helicopter pilot got a hummer from a porn star in-flight, and made the mistake of letting someone videotape it, which, of course, made its rounds on the internet until the FAA caught wind of it. License revoked, but, hey, he can get his Adult Performer union card now - a new career awaits!

A Girl's First Playboy!

A young Jamaican writer has crossed a line so few dare: she read a Playboy. And, of course, she reviewed her experienced, as the first time she had viewed an adult magazine, which has a cute "visitor from Mars" sensibility about it. "It turns out that Playboy has the same layout as any woman's magazine" and "But, if that doesn't work for you, there is also one of her in the buff, of course with the truck" are excellent naiive observations. She, surprisingly, reaches the conclusion (possibly because of the statements ubiquitousness), that men buy Playboy for the articles, and the nudes are a bonus.

Porn Hyperbole From Politician!

In response to the story a few days ago that Pirates II was being screened on college campuses, politicians flexed their muscles and threatened to cut funding if porn were shown on campus for entertainment purposes; in most states, I'm not sure that would even be legal for the government to threaten, but the university caved and cancelled the screening. No, the huge knee-jerk reaction gets worse: Maryland state senator Andy Harris opined that students can't smoke on campus, but could watch porn - an outrage he says, because "Occasional viewing of porn is more dangerous than occasionally lighting up a cigarette." Oh my flying fuck, this guy dresses himself in the morning? Hyperbole aside, here's just how crazy Harris' statement is - a campus member of the anti-pornography feminist group Feminism Without Borders had this to say: "Generally, I think it's a bad idea. I think it's exploitative and objectifies women. This film would not have had a huge effect on campus. It is not the state's job to dictate morality." When the Dworkinized feminists sound more sane and level-headed than you in regards to porn, State Senator Andy Harris, you begin to sound like a crackpot. Sure, let's say a college says, "no, this violates school rules, we had a meeting about it, and porn will not be shown," that would be a smart and prudent way for this to have been handled. For the college to go through regular channels, approve the film to be shown, and then cave to assholes from the community who threaten hurting educational programs just to stop the evils of porn, that's unbelievably stupid. You'd think college-educated administrators would be smarter than that.

College Students Watch Porn!

...and they're watching it as a student association event! UC Davis is showing "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" to students interested in such works of art, which means they'll probably have to turn people away. If it were posted by the Sacbee a day later, I might think it's a April Fool's joke, but it seems Digital Playground does college screenings on a regular basis. As the LAist article states, UCLA's screening of Pirates II had more attendees than the other movie screening where fucking Alan Rickman showed up. Porn beats Rickman yet again.

Porn Billed To Government!

The husband of a UK politician bought some pay-per-view, which was then expensed as part of the TV bill on his wife's expense report. The outrage? There were two porn movies on the bill - gadzooks! Handbag.com wants to know, would you forgive your man for watching porn? Because, you know, the impropriety of charging personal expenses to your employer, especially in government where employee expenses are heavily scruitinized, absolutely pales in comparison to the idea that a husband would have the audacity to buy pay-per-view porn. She is obviously more pissed about porn that the possibility of losing her job because her dumb husband used the wrong account. A woman needs to have priorities, you know.

Scotland: No Jail Porn!

It's too bad Scotland doesn't have laws against cruel and unusual punishment (I think we've all seen Midnight Express enough times), because now they are planning on outlawing nude posters on jail cell walls. The proposed law doesn't just stop as nudity; it outlaws anything that could be offensive to another person...which is pretty much anything, unless their intention is to only allow "Hang In There!" kitty or Jonas Brothers posters. Although, this might just be my overly-offendable American mind at work - the article says that Page 3 girls are perfectly fine, which are considered totally offensive by the modern and progressive U.S.. If the USA Today started including mostly-nude women in their pages, maybe then the U.S. will finally grow into a first-world country like Scotland.

30-Year-Old Porn Scandal!

Now this is a retro porn scandal. No, not something that happened thirty years ago. Not a sex scandal involving a thirty-year-old. Pauline Hanson, a populist and anti-immigration politician (and Dancing with the Stars competitor) in Australia, turned up in a interracial porn photo - well, turned up in an interracial porn photo taken of some other woman with Long Dong Silver in the seventies, but it sure looks like Hanson, so everybody's all up in arms that this politician would have the gall to look like a seventies porn star who enjoyed a big black dick once in a while. Don't worry - the Australian Sex Party is on top of it!

Adult Entertainment: Jobs!

People looking for quick money and a flexible schedule are discovering - hey! - getting naked is worth a lot of money! Oh, of course, when times are good, only whores do it, but in a recession, it's a way to save your family and pay for college! Finally, here's an article that gives a little context to this 'easy' career: "Once you decide to be an adult actress, it impacts your relationship with everyone," said Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of adult film giant Vivid Entertainment Group. "Once you make an adult film, it never goes away." Many of the people quoted in the articles, I think, would probably have been in adult entertainment anyway, but it's much easier for a news outlet to pleasantly frame a 'woman paying for her teaching degree by stripping at night' as a plucky entrepreneur figuring out how to get by, than a family of four with two incomes already and huge heating bills that needs help getting by after being pushed out of Social Services to keep budgets balanced. Expect, in about 15 years, a rush of conservative political candidates discredited because of a history of stripping and porn, with them dispensing excuse platitudes like, "oh, the economy was so bad, and I had to feed my family somehow!". Sadly, conservative morals are so flexible, they'd rather grant the excuse than to acknowledge that adult entertainment is worthwhile. Don't forget: a couple years back, teachers were fired for having summer job wearing a bikini and looking sexy and wearing a bikini on Howard Stern. You think any 'think-of-the-children' schoolboard is going to excuse this 'ho-ho, bad economy means get creative!' behavior in five years when the article at the top turns up in her 3rd-graders' search engines? People need to start accepting that adult entertainment isn't evil: it's a valid career for people with the skills and talent, and - horror - people change careers sometimes. Oh, don't count AIG on an employee's resume as a black mark, but stripper? Good god, call out the hounds.

Naylin' Paylin Is Still Around?

Not only is Serra Paylin still around, there's still a huge demand for her art: Hustler can't keep up with the demand for DVDs, and Lisa Ann can't just be herself when performing at strip clubs. "She wasn't planning to appear as Sarah Palin, so she left the suit and specs at home. But after night one, the club's owner asked her to dance as the governor. So she went to a local mall and purchased a makeshift Palin costume for the few seconds she'd actually have it on." I feel sorry for Lisa Ann a little: it's like she's now that guy at Karaoke night who, in one drunken night, did a hilarious version of "I Fought the Law", and everyone expects it now. The difference is: Lisa Ann gets tips for giving the audience what they want, and they want to fantasize about a nutso Alaskan porn-star governor with huge tits.

Hef's Thoughts On Life!

What does Hugh Hefner think about life, the universe, and everything? The Globe and Mail has pulled together a bunch of quotes, giving some insight into the old guy's mind.

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