Two Babes Posting Topless

Now, those are some nice tits, and the video is nice and long -- take it all in, get a nice long look at these hot chicks:



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Amy Winehouse Showing What She's Got

...not that she has much to show. I guess gettin' wasted and plastering on the makeup makes up for it, right? This photo was from an honorable source -- a breast cancer awareness concert -- and photographed by Easy Living magazine.

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Red Headed And Cute

There are only so many pictures I can look at before the 'sexy come-hither' look starts to seem hostile and violent; maybe I should talk to a psychologist about that. Thankfully, there's sweet gals like this redhead, who is outright cheerful that she's getting oggled by guys like me.

Listening to Re-Mastered Reel-To-Reel Masters

The Tape Project is going retro by releasing music on 1/4" reel-to-reel tapes, taken from the original tape masters from the studio sessions. The theory is almost even more over-the-top than the lovers of vinyl's obsession: because the original recordings were done on tape, it's one less change in media, thus it should be much more true to the original. I dare you to call up this place and ask if they can just copy the tape to MP3 and upload it to you. The profanity will be epic.

I did work in a studio for a time, and from the outside this looks like all the reels we used for stereo mixes of stuff (wider tape was used for the original multichannel recordings; they can't just copy the original tape). I'm surprised they can still find a good supplier of audiophile-quality 1/4" audio tape, but it must still be around. The recordings are distributed under a very-spendy subscription service, so it's not like they need that much tape to fulfill orders. While the reel they ship it on will fit on most studio-grade players, they recommend something even a bit higher quality than that; the studio recorders (largely) don't mess with the sound by equalizing for playback, and depending on how old it is it might not be calibrated for modern tape bias; you need a special player to truly get awesome quality from these tapes. (via)

Fungtastic!

Folks, let me tell you this, from a marketing standpoint: If you have a business creating and selling unsexy things -- shoe-odor-inserts, dog-poop-picker-uppers, laundry detergent -- and your advertising department says "let's just put huge titties in our ads," you say "HELL, YES!" Nila mushrooms has succeeded where so, so many people have failed: making fungus sexy.


I mean, look at 'em: a mushroom is designed to be sexy to women. But, up until now, a 'fungtastic' woman tends to stop a guy at the 'fung' part, completely disproving the 'tastic' part. My first reaction is to wonder why they went with the clumsy 'fungtastic', when 'fungilicious would be so much better, but the term is already taken. (via)

Iwase Yoshiyuki's Nudes

Iwase Yoshiyuki started his photography career in 1920s Japan, photographing the workers who caught dinner from the sea, particularly the female sea-divers who were paid significantly to swim in frigid water to harvest seafood. And, as you might quickly notice, they worked topless quite a bit of the time. His photography isn't purely documentary; he produces art, whether documenting the women's days, or posting women for artistic nude photography. They're very reminiscent of the style of NUS and The Body Beautiful.

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TSG's FYI 4 CBG

Ah, the Smoking Gun is a great place to find publicly available, court-entered documents full of hot, sexy text. Here's today's latest link, from a D.C. Madame's case, listing the terms a 'john' may need to understand for the a'la carte room service to get his order right. Here's some examples:

• All Inclusive: dinner and a show;
• Attempts: extra innings;
• Bare Back: russian roulette, but funner;
• BBW: curves and some wiggle;
• CBJ: raincoat on the teeth;
• Cowgirl: YeeeeHA!
• DFK: bring breathmints;
• FBSM: a backrub and a very good goodbye;
• GFE: Second-Hand Rose's specialty;
• Greek: something most Greeks don't actually enjoy;
• PSE: about as fun as it sounds, I suppose;
• Hobbyist: who you'd be if you had a wallet big enough.
  

Emily 18 Bubble Bathing

Emily 18 makes sure she's a squeaky clean girl -- but if you need a bath, I'm sure she'll help you with some dirty, dirty fun:

Tiny, Sad Retro Cameras

There has been all kinds of buzz about the new Rolleiflex digital camera, for its cool vintage style, and the promise of making you look cool by photographing on medium-format when everybody else's cameras digital. I, personally, wanted one from the start, especially when I saw there was a plain black one (although it seems everyone used the shiny red photo in their blogs, because it's more eye-catching). Here's a slick photo of both versions:

However, here's another common promotional photo:
This thing is freakin' tiny. There's no pretending there's any film in that camera. My heart sunk. When classic camera companies make digital versions of their existing camera bodies, I get excited -- then I see the pricetag.

While poking around to see if any company is making reasonably-priced digital replicas, I found the Minox website. They've got an entire "classic cameras" category -- but what do I see there? The Rolleiflex camera again; not promising. All of the cameras they offer are in 'mini' sized bodies, about 1/2-scale, including a Hasselblad and a Leica like the links above.

How sad -- turning these great cameras into toy versions of themselves. I'd like to see a company make a full-size TLR digital camera. It's not like they have to license a name from anyone -- a zillion camera companies put them out before 35mm was as popular, and they continued to be made for purists since. The layout of the camera is so iconic, it just needs to look like the Rolleiflex camera above. The guts don't have to be any different than a good point-and-shoot camera, because neither have a TTL viewfinder, no interchangeable lenses...I hate it when I think an idea is so obvious, and nobody's doing it.

Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet

The Onion takes a step towards the greatness of the original National Lampoon by combining satire with naked women: Naked Woman Picture Gains Popularity On Internet. The go so far as to show The Naked Woman Picture, lest you confuse it with all the other non-naked-woman-pictures you can find online:

Usually, The Onion is known for including friends and family in the articles, but this young lady seems far from Madison, Wisconsin. A bit of zooming in and we can see from whence she hails: Met Art. You know Met Art is an excellent resource when The Onion finds it worthwhile.

Dress-shirt and Lacy Panties

As you may know, I loves me gals in men's dress-clothes. Kelly-Dee relaxes, pants-free and tie loosened, showing off her cute lacy panties. She may be home from a long day at work, and just wants to sit on the couch with you, watch some TV, get a back rub...and a little bit of friendly rubbing that benefits both parties.

Russell Baker On Nudity

Below is from the 25 July 69 issue of LIFE magazine, an article called "Don't ask me, I only live here" by Russell Baker:

The nudity crowd tells you, "The human body is beautiful." Don't they know that tigers and horses and weasels have been laughing at it for eons? Except for a few oddities, like Tarzan and Raquel Welch, the human body is one of the ugliest bodies around. This is because it isn't covered with hair, scales, hide, or feathers. Did you ever see a snake with a potbelly? An antelope with varicose veins? A bluebird with freckles? You probably would if they took off their covering and pranced around naked."



Yeah, Baker's full of shit, but he's kinda funny -- they included the picture above as a counterpoint to his satire; as a bonus, the photo has far more entertainment value than the nudism quote. As for whether or not the human body should be exhibited for its beauty, check out an article I transcribed for Gracie: Would You Pose Without Clothes?, from a '50s nudism magazine.

Crissy Moran Havin' A Bath

Crissy Moran makes some suds and washes up those huge breasts of hers. She's so classy, you know, she wears her earrings into the bath. Just watching her bathe makes me feel a bit unclean -- there's a dirty, dirty part of me that Crissy could rub some suds onto!

How Nerds Should Dress

MIT, home of all things useful, has given some smart tips to build the basic wardrobe. What good would $500 wingtips do if you can't find a good, basic shirt? And, believe me, some nerds I've know look at fashion that way. The MIT fashion project plan is dry, simple, and explainitive, exactly what a logical and factual Vulcan of an MIT student can understand. Other than those Media Lab guys -- they're essentially art majors with long hair, huge pecs, and intriguing accents...no wonder they get laid all the time.

Anyhoo, MIT is hoping that they can improve their students' images by giving them a list of how to dress. Both male and female students get advice from the list (although, as with the guys, the Media Lab gals are hard to improve...mrowwr!), but as any nerd porn afficianado can attest to, nerdy gals are far sexier than nerdy guys, on the same logarithmic Sexitude Scale, which was probably developed my some MIT student in the first place. Really, the list applies to anybody who has trouble figuring out what to wear in the morning, which accounts of about 80% of the single guys I know. With a little MIT advice, you can go from this:


to this:



And...er, wait -- which one was the 'before' picture? Crap, maybe it was the other way around. It's such a gray area...kinda like judging fine wine solely by the quality of the label. Sure, great wines can afford a real graphic designer, but some of the best wine comes in bottles made by the winery's grandson, liberally using the Papyrus font, but crappy wine in a...hmm....Talking about those Media Lab guys got me off topic, then I messed up the "Which John Hodgman is Sexier," and now I mixed up my wine metaphors. Good thing I can dress myself.

Hot Chicks on Crazy German Album Covers

As you've probably noticed, I'm a fan of old album covers. A couple weeks ago, I picked up a wacky-looking German album at a thrift shop, just to see what was recorded on it. Sadly, it was polka music (should I have been so surprised?) However, the back of the album sleeve, with its catalog of other records from Maritim, had enough hot, come-hithery West German babes (along with some artsy nudity) to make the purchase worthwhile:

Laura Ramsey, Interview Magazine

The April '08 issue of Interview Magazine has an interview with Laura Ramsey, B-movie eye candy, about her new film, The Ruins. She hasn't had a problem getting naked for the camera (for the artistic integrity of the film only, I'm sure), and here she bares it all for the Interview photo shoot. No money-shots, but well worth a gander:

Two Gals Smooching In The Suds

They start out nice and bubbly, but these friendly gals lose the suds a little too soon for my liking...although there's no reason to stop watching. My dick still thinks for me sometimes, you know!

Coolness Exponential: Frazetta's From Dusk 'Till Dawn

Until now, I didn't think it was possible to combine the utter bad-assed-coolness of Frank Frazetta, Quentin Tarantino, vampires, Juliette Lewis, and George Clooney in one tit-a-licious painting, but here it is:


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Bits'n'Pieces

• 10 things Dad never told you about sex: they had me until the exploding penises;
• men.style.com's 15 best things of February;
• Kick-ass dress shoes like these are so hard to find;
  
• 10 sexy things to say to a naked woman: "SUCK IT, MOMMY!" strangely absent;
• Khaki suits: get yours now.
• Olympus' new DSLR: $499
• Give your expensive suit a taste of truck stop class with naked-lady-mudflap cufflinks;
• World's oldest profession: unfairly maligned;
  
• In case you live under a rock, NiN is has a new album -- for download;
• The worst nude scenes ever;
• The Smoking Gun has Spitzer's best friend's photos;
  

Mustang Ranch Resort

Lately I've been getting spam for the Mustang Ranch Resort in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. The spam reads:

ALL INCLUSIVE ADULT RESORT.
1 HOUR FLIGHT FROM MIAMI.

HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS

ALL MADE TO ORDER MEALS FROM OUR EXTENSIVE MENU.

ALL YOU CAN DRINK UNTIL MIDNIGHT.

ALL TRANSPORTS TO HOTEL, AIRPORT AND ADULT CLUBS.

ONE OF OUR ADULT COMPANIONS EVERYDAY INCLUDED.

OVER 80 WOMEN TO PICK FROM.

179.000 USD PER NIGHT!!!!
VISIT OR WEB SITE TODAY WWW.MUSTANGRANCHRESORT.COM

Ah, it's not just some swinger's club -- they're offering an 'adult companion' every day -- according to their site, for only 4 hours, but my guess is that's plenty for most men. But, wait -- isn't Puerto Plata the kind of place that frowns on prosti--er, I mean 'escorts'? Yes, it's illegal, but if you trust the Mustang Ranch Resort's FAQ: Our thousand and thousand clients who have visited Night Club can assure you that Night Club & Rio and now our New Mustang Ranch all inclusive resort is completely legal. The D.R. is governed by the more liberal European Laws. Which lend legal support to our activities. No reason to be nervous or concerned. Well, that us until you read a bit and find that the resort was shut down by the government (see page 3 here) for "engaging in prostitution, failing to have the correct permits, and detrimentally affecting the surrounding area." So, if you're interested in going to a foreign country where the US has little power, participating in an illegal activity, and hoping nothing goes wrong, this is the place for you! I suppose, if you're interested in this sort of travel experience, you're looking for a little excitement. If you're not that adventurous and value your, well, everything, you might be better off sticking in the United States, getting a reservation at the resort's namesake, and having your way with a legal American prostitute.

Lesbians: Every Damn Woman Is One

OK, the headline is a little hyperbolic, but the nice folks at MetaFilter have accumulated the entire sum of human knowledge about what causes girl-on-girl action. Here's what it comes down to: if the other girl is hot, and there's no reason not to, well, that's fair game. HALLELUJAH!

Also mentioned in the Metafilter thread is this: Buffy the Vampire Slayer swings both ways.
Now, I'm a purist, in that the TV series never did much for me...so this means, by the transitive property, y'all can cut-and-paste Kristy Swanson into that fantasy of yours.

You can thank Joss Wheadon next time you see him.

Huge Fake Breasts Get A Little Bubbly

Well, there's not a chance in hell that I'd kick this beautiful asian honey out of my bubble bath, even if her nipples right a little high -- I'm sure her breasts get ogled quite a bit, and the nipples are positioned to stare right back!

Porn On The Moon

As any red-blooded American knows, astronauts are the embodiment of all that's wholesome and good in our grand Union. What you might not know, is that space-peoples are just as big of pervs as anyone else. When Apollo 12 went to the moon, the guys who put together the astronauts 'cuff checklists' -- small booklets built into their spacesuits -- included some interesting reminders of what earthlings look like:



But that's not all -- Andy Warhol's penis was sent to the moon as well:


A handful of the art world movers-and-shakers put together this tiny exhibit of their work, including a penis sketch by Andy Warhol (in official circles, it's a stylized 'A' as his initials). The art was then etched into a moon-survivable format and smuggled on board the Apollo 12 lander's struts...the part that's left behind on the moon's surface to this very day. Andy Warhol's tiny, tiny penis is sitting there right now. Kinda makes you look up into the sky at night and think a little bit harder about your place in the universe, now don't it?

(via greg)

Get Your Powerbook To The Mac Store

Cosmo has some good news for computer geeks: they say that ladies are likely to find a guy if they go take a gander at the toys coming and going from the Apple Store. "You can check your email among cuties," they say, "take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."

Not to mention that the guys who shop at the Apple Store can actually afford a Mac in the first place: picking up a guy in the computer section of Wal-Mart browsing the $499 all-in-one PC bundles is probably not the prime cut compared to a guy whose Powerbook is having battery problems. And if you're lucky enough to live near one that never closes, a guy might be lucky enough to encounter a gal trying to hook up with somebody sober at 2am. For guys like me, of course, this is a huge boon: all we need to do is scrounge up an iPod, shower and dress nice, and we might look like we're worth some one-on-one time with a Cosmo-reading babe looking for a Mac guy of her very own. Guys do need to be on their guard, though -- keep an eye out for the Mac-owning babes, not the Cosmo-reading predators. For crying out loud, if she owns a Mac and is unencumbered, she's worth your time, guys!

(the Mac lover above is Posh from SuicideGirls; she was Macenstein's babe of the month for 5/07)

Erotic Falconry

OK, falconry is awesome to begin with. Of all the rennaisance faire dudes, the guy walking around with the falcon is the baddest-ass dude in a codpiece. What could be more awesome than plain old falconry? Erotic falconry, of course. You take the badassedness of a highly-trained bird -- whose skills includes both flying and killing and it applies both to its career -- and then add nudity.
You don't fuck with a hot chick with a flying killing machine on her wrist. It's right up there with pulling off the lone ranger's mask -- if she's willing, you're in; if you're not, you better start shopping for an eyepatch.