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Awesome Goth Cars!
 Tired of your mom driving you to school in the minivan? Feel like you need some awesome way to show that you're so goth you shit bats? Go here, and have your pick of the gothiest movie cars ever. I'm no goth, but I've known a couple, and I'm not sure these all qualify as "goth", exactly. The Munstermobile, and Kitt, maybe, but a Death Race 2000 car? They look like what Rob Zombie would make his kid drive to school, and the kid will say, " Dammit, dad, I'm saving all my money from working drive-through at Hardee's so I can finally buy a rad Honda Element. Cars shouldn't have teeth." And that would be the day that Rob Zombie would realize that he's an old lame dude. Labels: cars
Smartcar Biker!
Finally, a smart car can look like it's not some crappy plastic go-cart: paint it up like a sexy motorcycle. Take that busty leather babe out for a night on the town, and just remind her: hey, it looks like they're riding a motorcycle, isn't that just as cool?  Labels: cars
Pron Star = Crappy Cars!
 The recession is hitting everyone hard - performer Savannah Stern is selling her Mercedes and borrowing a Chevy Trailblazer from her parents. Holy crap - twentysomethings who saw huge dividends when the economy was good spent it on crap rather than investing in their future, and now they're leaning on their parents to get by? This is unacceptible, people - where do porn stars think they can get away with this? Oh, from the Times, who have been trying to run this story for a year now, but the only people they could find were losers. Then - aha! - a photogenic youth drops in their laps. The porn industry's drop in price is probably the more shocking, but that's hard to photoboob, er, boobograph...er, boob on the boobpage of a boobpaper. I wonder - the non-financier that I am - if this is simply a price correction. One person can't make all the porn, like a monopoly, so there's a inherent demand for more pornography - the adult entertainment industry will always have a pool of actors, but as prices go down, performers drop out - but the smaller it gets, the more that small pool will be asking for bigger paychecks, which then makes the pool bigger because porn payrolls are getting back to the size of the people who dropped out due to low revenues, wavering back and forth until it settles at a point where customers are willing to pay and "service providers" are willing to work for. The inherent scarcity in DVD sales, as opposed to instant internet access, kept prices high, but the people giving away porn for free are still paying their bills: there's still money in it someplace, maybe a smaller paycheck than before, but it's not like the general public has decided to stop watching porn. I doubt that'll ever happen. Labels: cars
Gold Cars!
Who ever said the rich were impractical? I mean, these cars are gold-plated because...um...of the low electrical conductivity of gold? Its malleability and ductile properties? Or just to say, " hey, baby, my car is so impractical that I dare not park it within arm's reach of any other living human." Labels: cars, wealthy
Cars: Not Sexy!
If you think your 1972 Ford F-100 with the mismatching-colored tailgate is hurting your sex appeal, you're absolutely wrong. While women might find a particular car sexy, that car's sexiness doesn't necessarily rub off on the driver. Top Gear Australia did find that some guys saw slight improvement, but I'd call their findings inconsequential: it has more to do with how attractive the guys is in the first place. Anything is an improvement if you dress for shit or never learned to brush your hair. Labels: cars, sexy
Classic Car Crushed!
Let's say, you're a fireman, driving carefully down the road. Suddenly, you're on top of a 1969 Firebird. As you might imagine, the classic car's owner isn't amused, but from the play-by-play of the events - it tumbled down the hill and into the Vickery family's driveway. The tanker toppled trees and clobbered a camper before landing, right-side-up - makes me wish there was video. That would be worth the loss of the car, in my mind. ( via) Labels: cars
Coolest Obscure Cars!
Want a hot car that nobody's seen before? Custom high-performance manufacturers aren't always the highest profile machines; Sun Sentinel has a gallery - via Forbes - of some of those not-so-common cars, for when you get tired of Ferraris and Porsches:  Labels: cars
Cars Get You Laid!
Want to know what car will best get you into a woman's panties? the Wales Institute did some research over in the U.K. and found that chicks dig expensive wheels, so Zoo Magazine dug deeper to find out, specifically, which motor vehicle works the best to induce fucking. The slideshow of results, sadly, are mostly European vehicles. Don't worry, fellow Americans: over there, you have a sexy foreign accent, which will get you into the panties of British chicks faster than driving around some Ford. Speaking of which, the Ford Focus is #9 on their list, which shows just how bad European cars are. Labels: cars, sexy
Naughty License Plates!
Ohio, in order to cut back on the number of douches requesting naughty license plates, have released their list of banned vanity plates. While Ohioans may be out of luck, those of you in Idaho, South Dakota, or Montana, where the DMVs aren't quite as bright, now have a list of ideas to go through next time you need to renew your plates. ( via) Labels: cars, license plate, naughty
Natacha Gachnang
Formula One has always been sexy, with it's lithe, big-assed cars and exotic locales, but now there's a new reason to masturbate while watching Le Mans on ESPN. Natacha Gachnang, a lovely Swiss miss, is making her mark on the Formula n circuit, coming in closer to first with every new year that she drives - but there's something about her that appeals to the male viewers of the races, so let's see if you can tell what it is:
Labels: cars, formula one, natacha gachnang, racing
Batman's Tumbler Ticketed!
Uh, oh - Commissioner Gordon is going to hear about this! Actor Aaron Eckhart, who played Harvey Dent in the movie, was apparently driving the car around London to promote the DVD release. Then, (I suspect) he managed to get wasted and forgot where he parked his car, so he took a cab home until it was bright enough for him to wander London, thinking to himself, " wait - is that my Batmobile down there? No, keep going..." Sadly, the metermaids got to the car before him.
More pics here (scroll down on the right column), and all via Fark. Labels: cars
Fastest Office Chair Ever
Million Mile Chevy
A Wisconsin guy has pushed his Chevy to its limits. He's driven the Silverado over a million miles, and now he wants $30,000 for it. Now that's some balls, Mr. Million Mile Chevy, especially when you paid a third of that ten years ago for the truck. I predict, quite obviously, that the truck ain't gonna sell on eBay, and it ain't gonna sell if he parks it at the curb with soaped on the window, but he's got newspaper clippings for his scrapbook, and that's what matters while the truck rusts to pieces in the guy's backyard. Labels: cars, chevrolet
Mini Wins Cannonball Run
A Smart mini has won the European Cannonball Run, with an average speed of 100km/h. Their trick? Since their fuel-efficient engine didn't need the drivers to put gas on as often, they'd overtake and pass the faster cars. The faster cars had to run at higher speeds in order to keep up a fast average...which used more fuel and meant more stopping. The Smart car's next stop: the 2009 Gumball Rally. Is there anything environmentalists can't win at? Labels: cars, news
Put a Dodge In Your Garage
 Back in the seventies, you could get a conversion van tricked out with all kinds of accessories -- including a hot pair of natural tits pressed against the back window. Those dealerships think of everything! See a big version and another view at this Flickr slideshow:  Labels: cars, conversion van, sex sells
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If a big racecar makes up for tiny dick, you should check out my tricked out Cooper Mini - a small racecar means...well, you get it, right? Why don't you get that sponge and a bucket and soap up my "cooper", if you know what I mean:
