Hooker Sex = Work

It's all fun and games until somebody gets caught. A cop was assigned to bust prostitutes, and he claims that, to gather evidence, he'd been told to actually fuck a few hookers. The department says, no, that wasn't the case, but it gets more suspicious when the officer says he tried to follow through with paperwork and fill out 'bodily fluid contact report' forms after doing his civic duty, but was prevented from doing so, and he also says how he ended up with the job because other officer's wifes disapproved of the amount of hooker contact in the assignment. So, amateurish cop gets wrangled into busting prostitutes, has sex several times without anybody raising an eyebrow, everyone tries to pretend it didn't happen, but whe! n he gets caught everybody starts pointing fingers. To protect and serve, my ass.

Voluntary Sexworker - OK!

This year's AIDS conference in Mexico learned something that would make a Conservative's head asplode: there are sex workers who are perfectly happy and voluntarily doing what they do. "The idea is that we are all doe-eyed victims of human trafficking who need rescuing, but for many of us that is so far from the truth," said an Asian sex worker from the US. "We just want to be recognised as workers like any other." But...but, she was forced to do that, right? Only through violence and drugs would any woman be manipulated into making money through sex, right? All this! narrow-mindedness about prostitution is missing the boat, and it's no wonder efforts to 'help' aren't as successful as they should be.

Newspapers Gain From Prostitution?:

The Orlando weekly and three employees have been busted from making money off prostitution. How, you ask? By selling ads for 'adult fun', which pretty much guarantees qualification as prostitution, at least in the eyes of the law. So, sell a prostitute something that helps them do their job, go to jail? There's plenty of hyperbolic exaggeration ("what if a grocer sells her a banana? Then what?!?"), but it comes down to asking the question: to what extent is prostitution a problem that you have to arrest the unlikeliest ancillary connections to the world's oldest job?

Hookers + NeoCons = Economy!

Minneapolis is bracing for a surge in prostitution due to the influx of Republicans for their national convention -- we all knew conventions like this bring money into the community, and this will be no exception. I doubt the lower-end prostitutes will see any boost in business; no self-respecting Republican would risk being caught with a hooker...and I'll bet most of these respectable gentlemen will have already made their appointments with a call girl of acceptable calibre. It's most likely an excuse for a 'crackdown' on prostitution, which will net poor liberal ladies and completely miss anybody having to do with the Republican Convention.

Finland: Bring On The Whores!

According to a recent poll, 70% of Finnish men prefer prostitution remain legal, while over half of women support legal prostitution. The difference between the two? Women's perception is that prostution involves violence, while few men percieved whore-related abuse. Even still, if this poll were taken without respect to dividing by gender, the math works out to over 60% approval for prostitution. Yay, Finns!

Brothels Having Troubles Due To Fuel Prices

You might be feeling the pain at the pump, but have you looked at diesel prices lately? They've been consistently a buck or two more than gasoline for almost ten years; fill up a 50-gallon truck and it'll cost you $250 bucks to ship your tchotchkes over the road. So, there's been less tchotchke transportation in recent months...much to the chagrin of places like the Bunny Ranch in Nevada who've seen their profits dwindle due to reduced customers.



Fewer truckers means less whoopty-hoo is going on in the brothels, which means less income for these hard-working ladies, which makes the ladies cranky enough to kick the ass of any guy who uses the term 'whoopty-hoo' for fucking. Good to know that they charge extra for the ass-kicking. Anyhow, the more rural brothels like Bunny Ranch are doing what they can, and hoping that their ladies can get a little 'stimulus package' out of the guys' pants. The Bunny Ranch is offering a double-your-stimulus offer that might help them out a bit. However, what they really need is some good 'old-fashioned "Buy American" attitude. We don't want these fine institutions to disappear, do we?

Most Innovative Brothels

Cracked, who apparently can't write unless they're counting something, has a list of the most innovative brothels in the world. While none seem to have anything to do with robots, I guess altering the whorehouse business model can be seen as innovative, if you're a MBA with an interest in managing fucking establishments.



Of course, I'm all over #3, the Soaplands, those soapy-with-sex brothels in Japan...the name came because Turkey objected to the name 'turkish baths', so soaplands was was chosen. Too bad about this rule, though: like a lot of higher-end prostitutes in Japan, it's off-limits to foreigners.

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Topless Massage In London

The best I can date this is around 1977 to 1978, after the release of "Come Play With Me" but before the star's death -- however, the biggest attraction in London for pervs like me wasn't the movie: the UK magazine New Action MS had these ads for "topless massage," assumedly with a happy ending (so to speak). The ads are quite detailed and explicit, as opposed to the entendre-laden all-text personal ads that advertise naughty massage today. Nicole Sauna is the only one still partaking in toplessness, now called Rio's, and New Park Sauna gave up the toplessness to became the Manor Park Sauna; the rest have closed and moved on.

TSG's FYI 4 CBG

Ah, the Smoking Gun is a great place to find publicly available, court-entered documents full of hot, sexy text. Here's today's latest link, from a D.C. Madame's case, listing the terms a 'john' may need to understand for the a'la carte room service to get his order right. Here's some examples:

• All Inclusive: dinner and a show;
• Attempts: extra innings;
• Bare Back: russian roulette, but funner;
• BBW: curves and some wiggle;
• CBJ: raincoat on the teeth;
• Cowgirl: YeeeeHA!
• DFK: bring breathmints;
• FBSM: a backrub and a very good goodbye;
• GFE: Second-Hand Rose's specialty;
• Greek: something most Greeks don't actually enjoy;
• PSE: about as fun as it sounds, I suppose;
• Hobbyist: who you'd be if you had a wallet big enough.
  

Mustang Ranch Resort

Lately I've been getting spam for the Mustang Ranch Resort in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. The spam reads:

ALL INCLUSIVE ADULT RESORT.
1 HOUR FLIGHT FROM MIAMI.

HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS

ALL MADE TO ORDER MEALS FROM OUR EXTENSIVE MENU.

ALL YOU CAN DRINK UNTIL MIDNIGHT.

ALL TRANSPORTS TO HOTEL, AIRPORT AND ADULT CLUBS.

ONE OF OUR ADULT COMPANIONS EVERYDAY INCLUDED.

OVER 80 WOMEN TO PICK FROM.

179.000 USD PER NIGHT!!!!
VISIT OR WEB SITE TODAY WWW.MUSTANGRANCHRESORT.COM

Ah, it's not just some swinger's club -- they're offering an 'adult companion' every day -- according to their site, for only 4 hours, but my guess is that's plenty for most men. But, wait -- isn't Puerto Plata the kind of place that frowns on prosti--er, I mean 'escorts'? Yes, it's illegal, but if you trust the Mustang Ranch Resort's FAQ: Our thousand and thousand clients who have visited Night Club can assure you that Night Club & Rio and now our New Mustang Ranch all inclusive resort is completely legal. The D.R. is governed by the more liberal European Laws. Which lend legal support to our activities. No reason to be nervous or concerned. Well, that us until you read a bit and find that the resort was shut down by the government (see page 3 here) for "engaging in prostitution, failing to have the correct permits, and detrimentally affecting the surrounding area." So, if you're interested in going to a foreign country where the US has little power, participating in an illegal activity, and hoping nothing goes wrong, this is the place for you! I suppose, if you're interested in this sort of travel experience, you're looking for a little excitement. If you're not that adventurous and value your, well, everything, you might be better off sticking in the United States, getting a reservation at the resort's namesake, and having your way with a legal American prostitute.