We all knew that Chris Brown's album cover sucked, but who knew there were so many other shitty album covers this year? Not me - and once everybody starts pirating MP3s, there'll be no further need for 'album' covers. I guess DJs will still need something to hang behind their booth from alligator clips, so there will still probably be shitty album covers for a few more years.
I don't know what a "Girls" is, although I think I may have heard their song in some TV show a couple nights ago (the lead singer has a Ween-ish tone), but they've got a new video out called Lust For Life, which includes a lot of hinted nudity. Where's all the real nudity, you ask? in the 'leaked' XXX version. Everyone hints that the XXX version is the real video, but I doubt it; the first one has all the feel of an intentional music video, the second feels like outtakes and the stuff that was cut to avoid nudity. Plus, in the second one, you see a guy singing into another guy's erect penis like a microphone. I can't think of a band that would benefit from that in a video. Besides The Rolling Stones. Or Lady Gaga.
Dude, this guy is the awesomest dude ever: two turntables and a gramophone. The build-up is what makes this the most beautiful thing on the internet today. Come Mr. DJ, song pon de replay in-fucking-deed!
Holy crap, this is so awesome. I totally want Gracie using one of these in the bedroom. Just looking at this one picture, fuck, I came twice. Ohshi-three times, now. This is awesome wrapped in a Harley tied around a timberwolf and garnished with bratwurst:
Check your iPod, guys, and prepare with the delete key: here we have the definitive list of music no guy should have on his MP3 player. Note that it isn't just a 'chick song' thing: their target is also lame hipsters. Your so-called irony of downloading "We Built This City" by Starship is unacceptable - unacceptable! I do have a few exceptions, though: Macy Gray kicks too much ass to issue a blanket ban.
The Gauntlet, a poorly-designed website of crappy band information, has added something new to further muddle their site up: the Sausage Index. In MY mind, that should be at the fucking top of the page, because it's actually useful: it, using years of data, identifies the average gender and sexual preference of concert goers. So, if you want to go to a metal concert in the interest of meeting a hot chick of similar musical tastes, you'll be able to pick between England Dan and John Ford Coley or Seals and Crofts based on gender composition of audience. They even start with the top of the list: Slipknot, because straight babes dominate their audience - just make sure you bring something to clean all that goth off your back seat when she's done with you.
Noah Gallagher of Oasis recently experienced an interview in which he was accused of spending a lot of time with a "sex turkey." Now, I know I beat the shit out of someone who claimed to have seen me fucking a sex turkey (it was a sex guinea fowl, you fuck), but Gallagher has more tolerant sensibilities than me, and recognized it must have been misheard. Turns out, the interviewer was doing their best to say the name "Zak Starkey" - admit it, say it out loud in a sexy Brazilian accent, it does sound like "sex turkey" - which only means one thing: Noah Gallagher is fucking Zak Starkey. Don't believe me? It's right there in Gallagher's blog. (via)
Beacon apparently didn't think the original album cover was naughty enough - they well totally topless for this version, which seems to have all the same songs, just more nippley:
It's not just a, "buy $5,000 worth of parts and you'll have an excellent turntable," but far more home-brew geekery at work. Build your own record player, using such awesome parts as a Harley Davidson valve and bearing, and stepper motors taken from hard drives. His turntable can kick your turntable's fucking ass.
Her pussy may belong to daddy, but Beacon got its money's worth with that song - it appeared again on "Hot Pepper", an equally naughty collection of triple-entendre laden songs:
In the catalog of "Records CR/LF Wishes He Owned" is this one - "My Pussy Belongs To Daddy," a treatise on pet ownership, combined with a number of other songs with strangely sexy titles. The cover doesn't give you that impression, does it?
Tomorrow is Record Store Day, so head down to that funny-smelling storefront with the surly biker behind the counter, and give him a hug - he deserves it! It's one of those 'made-up' commercial holidays, like Free Comic Day, any of those New Car Events at Trusty Al's Car Lot, or President's Day, but that doesn't make it any less awesome for celebrating vinyl records.
I'm not sure what a "Duke Special" is (sounds like a "reverse cowboy" mixed with a "wet sambo"), but The Duke made history recently by performing for the first direct-to-vinyl live recording in an estimated 30 years. I couldn't find specifics on how they recorded 'direct to vinyl', as usually a lacquer, ceramic, plastic, or metal mastering disc is usually the intermediate between live and vinyl. But, anyhow, it's probably the truest recording made in decades, avoiding digital degradation or tape hiss; if only everything was tube-controlled, it would be the most awesome recording event ever.
The Revolting Cocks are still putting out albums, even though Ministry has disbanded? Encroyable! Sex-O Olympic-O is coming out March 3rd, and it may be the first time in a long time I'll buy a new CD. Some dude's review here.
Ah, isn't there anything that isn't made better by redesigning it in boob-form? Not only are these a boob pillow, but they also double as iPod speakers. Technology is wonderful!
It happens more than I care to admit I've heard on the radio. Snot-nosed kid doing 'indie' journalism talks his way into a back-stage pass to do an "interview", and pisses his way through it. My favorites are the musicians that don't put up with the crap -- and Henry Rollins is not one to take crap from such a kid:
Funky R&B king Isaac Hayes has passed away at age 65. Where most 70s soul funk sounds dated and kitschy today, Hayes' stuff stays real all these years later. Found unconscious near a treadmill, he was rushed to the hospital and declared dead shortly after.
Audiowood has some excellent real-wood turntables for the discering audiophile. If you've had to pull apart a turntable to fix it (or at least change a belt) you know that they pretty much all work the same inside, and they're inserted into different housings depending on need. Audiowood uses solid fine wood to create beautiful turntable housings that look like they belong in a hunter's shack or in the game room of some lodge. They don't use a crappy BSR or made-in-China-for-Walmart dropins, though; the turntable and tonearm are quality machinery, and when combined with a dense, heavy mounting material I'm sure they sound great. They don't display prices, which, of course, means a working stiff like me probably can't afford them...but a guy can wish, you know.
If it's one thing that I hate about portable media, it's the crappy headphones. Ear buds suck so bad, no matter how much you pay for them. Here we've got the best of both worlds: nice ear-cup headphones, with a built-in media player. The SkullCandy Double Agent looks so good. It's got an internal rechargeable battery, a USB cord to behave like portable storage, and if you still have analog electronics, a cord for plugging in to old-school audio equipment. These look more compact and simpler than SkullCandy's other MP3-player-headset, and the Double Agent takes SD cards. Studica shows them available, but the king, Amazon, says they're still not in yet, and SkullCandy's own website doesn't even have them. The article above says they're available June 1st -- but that's come and gone, kids. Still, SkullCandy's headphones (even the buds) are always high on people's lists of quality equipment, so being patient will probably be worth it.
Henley Designs produces this entry in the Pro-Ject line of audio equipment: The Genie 2. It's what it looks like what you'd have if you trimmed everything off a record player except for the basic necessary things to get sound off the vinyl. Then, they used the highest quality parts for those remaining pieces. The high-torque motor is decoupled from the turntable's base, it uses a high-quality (but relatively low-cost) Ortofon OM 3E, and the tonearm, bearings, and platter are all finely tuned and balanced. It's high-end audio with a middling pricepoint.
If you spend too much time just playing with the knobs, you're gonna miss Car Talk, I can guarantee it. The boobs themselves are rather small and stylized, which, I suppose, is OK for a radio, and is probably intentional as a way to dissuade people from cradling them too much...I mean, for crying out loud, it's a radio, not some sort of sex toy. Of course, the UK gets all the fun stuff.
...not that she has much to show. I guess gettin' wasted and plastering on the makeup makes up for it, right? This photo was from an honorable source -- a breast cancer awareness concert -- and photographed by Easy Living magazine.
The Tape Project is going retro by releasing music on 1/4" reel-to-reel tapes, taken from the original tape masters from the studio sessions. The theory is almost even more over-the-top than the lovers of vinyl's obsession: because the original recordings were done on tape, it's one less change in media, thus it should be much more true to the original. I dare you to call up this place and ask if they can just copy the tape to MP3 and upload it to you. The profanity will be epic.
I did work in a studio for a time, and from the outside this looks like all the reels we used for stereo mixes of stuff (wider tape was used for the original multichannel recordings; they can't just copy the original tape). I'm surprised they can still find a good supplier of audiophile-quality 1/4" audio tape, but it must still be around. The recordings are distributed under a very-spendy subscription service, so it's not like they need that much tape to fulfill orders. While the reel they ship it on will fit on most studio-grade players, they recommend something even a bit higher quality than that; the studio recorders (largely) don't mess with the sound by equalizing for playback, and depending on how old it is it might not be calibrated for modern tape bias; you need a special player to truly get awesome quality from these tapes.(via)
Gadget Gary of Sound & Vision magazine got to try out this slick little machine: the Audio-Technica AT-LP2D-USB. It's a record player (remember those?) with its own analog-to-digital converter and a USB connection to the computer. Plug it in, and you can record right from an album to an MP3. In the old days (i.e. 2003), you had to go through the sound card -- additional connections mean additional noise -- so having everything onboard and away from the electrical noise of the PC is hopefully an improvement. The turntable doesn't do 78s, and since my Gracie has all kinds of kinky old 10" records, I'll have to stick with my 1970s turntable for recording. Still, we've got 45s, and it's relatively cheap (about the price of a nice non-USB turntable), so I might have to put it on my Xmas list. I'd have prefered if Gadget Gary talked more about the audio quality than the software it came with, but I'll bet he'd definitely complain if it sucked.
One caveat: Audio-Technica makes two versions of this machine -- one with USB, above, and one without...which is pretty much an average record player. Go with the USB variant.
We all knew that Chris Brown's album cover sucked, but who knew there were so many other shitty album covers this year? Not me - and once everybody starts pirating MP3s, there'll be no further need for 'album' covers. I guess DJs will still need something to hang behind their booth from alligator clips, so there will still probably be shitty album covers for a few more years. 
