When I think of "The Longest Handy Ever", I have PTSD flashbacks to an unlubed sexual experience in high school, but in THIS case a sex shop in Florida held a "hands on a hardbody" contest to win a goodie-bag of product. There wasn't a real penis involved - it was that blow-up penis the winner is so lovingly cuddling with in the pic below.

When I think of "finishing earlier than expected"...well, there's high-school flashbacks, too, but it also applies to the penis-touching contest. The Longest Handy Ever started at about 1pm in the X-Mart store in Gainesville, FL, but by two o'clock one contestant proposes everyone else drop out and she would share the sex toy goodies with the remaining competitors. Ah, when it comes to sex toys, cooperation always wins out in the end!

While, in general, Florida is the suckiest state ever (after all, it is America's Wang), sometimes its awesome floats to the top, as embodied by this: Bubble Bee bikini car wash, in Tarpon Springs, which has just opened for business for the summer, in which bikini-and-shorted coeds give your metallic phallic symbol a good soap up and dry down. God fucking bless America.

These photos were scanned from Amateur Screen and Photography, June 1956. It's a rather commonplace 'photographer's figure-study educational magazine', which just happens to gave a lot of nudes in uncomfortable poses gracing nearly every page.Bettie Page, late in her career, spent a lot of time in Florida with Bunny Yeager and her friends. One of those friends, a photographer named Jan Caldwell, took these photos. Caldwell is credited; Bettie Page is not named specifically, but the provenance of photographer, time period, and resemblance makes for a pretty good positive ID. Oh, in case you were wondering: the lesson in these photos is that models with a naturally dark complexion are "a delight for the photographer who uses natural lighting." A delight indeed!