A town in Colorado has given their cops something more fun to do than issue speeding tickets: shooting coyotes with paintballs. Killing a coyote would increase the population by spurring breeding amongst the stronger, healthier remaining ones. Paintballs, however, just hurt like shit and make the coyotes more scared of roaming around where people are. Police are warning residents to keep their own paintball equipment locked up, because once the coyotes start shooting back, leaving highly-visible pink paintball marks on the police officers, problems will increase exponentially.

Let's say, hookers and johns are doing their business in front of your home. Do you have the right to shoot them with a paintball, super-soaker, or other non-lethal device? Sadly, no, although that would be an awesome event to charge admission to. The police, of course, prefer you call 911, at which time a cop will show up an hour too late, decline to make a report due to the lack of evidence, and scold you for using 911 for such unimportant things.