Spiky Penis Evolution!

Ladies, thank your lucky fucking stars that evolution worked the way it did. SCIENCE! tells us that humans, like most primates and many mammals, would have spiky, barbed penises, except that we happily evolved beyond vaginal ripping. If you thought penises were oddly hairy enough as it is, you have no clue just how bad it could have been. In fact, we've evolved beyond any sharp, spiky hairs, including sensitive whiskers, which is why I'm always trying to stick my head into openings that are too small. Sure, my head gets stuck between the railings more often, but sex is far less brutal and bloody, so I guess you win some, you lose some.


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