Laundry = Blowjob!

Fox's Sexpert, always providing good advice in the style of any blogger who can't think of anything to write, advises men to get off their lazy asses and do some laundry if they expect to get laid. Her main reason is probably the most honest and truthful, but sounds mean if actually said to a guy: "if you'd help out around here, I'd be less pissed at you and less tired, and I might actually feel like letting you tit-fuck me for a while." The suggestions get better, though, tying in actual sexual foreplay with the chores - something that might sound good for porn, but when put into practice really don't work all that well, like the washing machine: "Lovers can let the washer be their guide, making their actions in sync with the washer's rhythm, getting faster and faster with its motions. Things only get wilder as the spin cycle kicks into high gear." Erotica writers might think it sounds hot, but struggling to line up for a half hour, much of that time spent with the washer sitting still, filling with water, doesn't actually work. And, really, when sex is a possibility, are any chores going to actually get finished? Do the chores today, go to bed early, then tomorrow fuck your brains out.


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