Don't read the article for the content, it's all very generic shit, but the author starts off with an obvious intention: fill the generic article with the most unsexy sexual references possible. My favorites: "parking the beef bus in tuna town", "stuffing the monkey", and "putting the monster in the cave", all of which show that the writer has probably never actually had sex before, although it was described to her by five 14-year-old boys who claimed to have totally touched boobs before, yo. Excuse me, I've gotta go find Gracie and "waddle past the fruitcart", you know, "lick the nine-volt batteries", so to speak, "drop the needle on side B", "check my mailbox at the UPS Store", "go all House on her lupus," "rub my penis against her vul-", wait, that doesn't sound right.