Crap - apparently, the disease known as "cello scrotum" doesn't actually exist; it was a April-Foolsy joke that continued to live on, as fake as a Prescott Pharmaceuticals side-effect. Well, I had to go to fifteen specialists before I got an accurate diagnosis, and now it's all a fake? Per the article: "You would have to be doing something fairly extreme to get that by playing the cello" - EXACTLY, but now I have no diagnosis? Does that mean I can't get any more prescriptions for the salve? Fuck.