Texting Saves Lives

A remote doctor came across a man whose arm was mostly bitten off by a hippopotamus. Unable to do the amputation solo, the doctor turned to a reliable source: a doctor in London, via SMS text messaging. The amputation was a success, the doctor's celphone bill went up by about $500, and the hippos remain undisturbed. Verizon's new "Dead Zone" commercial will now consist of a young swimmer being warned that he shouldn't go in the river, due to the danger of hippos. "We're Good!" says the bespeckled Verizon mascot and their legion of cellular phone technicians, who are then ripped to shreds by angry hippopotamuses. Not that's entertainment!

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