Pets Over Partners

The Department of Obvious would like you to know that most people would prefer to have their pet on a desert island than their lover. This could be attributed to the fact that a partner's needs are a pain in the ass, and why would anybody want to spend the rest of their life dealing with another person's demands and expectations? Oh, wait - that's marriage. This is why the Conservatives don't want to open up marriage to anything but a man and a woman. If people could marry their pets, Republicans would never get laid again. In other news, the originator of the survey, Petplan, surveyed their customers for this data, which means that people who! buy their pets insurance are so batshit insane that they throw their pets parties, prepare cooked meals for them, and share a bed with them. They're not getting laid either, I bet.


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