Bits 'n' Pieces!

Having a coworker lick whipped cream off your neck and having your breasts fondled might be fun -- but it's not a good idea if you're a police sergeant, and the coworker is your subordinate. The lickee/fondlee was fired (mostly because of her speckled diciplinary record), while the 'licker,' the birthday girl herself, was suspended for 10 days. Unfortunately, I'm letting the horndog in me get the better of my opinion of the situation: two policewomen, licking whipped cream off each other and fondling their breasts? Woah, that's hot. I'll bet there's a pornsite for this exact situation!

What do you get when you show Chirac, the British Queen, and Dubya in a menage a troi? In trouble with the viewing public, that's what. The billboard (see pic in link) has two women and a man in close sexual contact, wearing Halloween masks of the world's favorite heads-of-state. For somewhat obvious reasons, this act of artistic political defiance didn't get its point across with the Austrian citizenry, and many have demanded it be taken down. Take special note that this means roadside porn is acceptible if there is a political opinion embedded in it. Take extra-special note at the size of President GW Bush's breasts.

Poor UK -- starting in the new year, the legal system will crack down on prostitution. They cite drugs and misogyny as the reason, because we all know that both of those cease to exist without prostitution to instigate ithem. Excuses, excuses to produce an air of moral superiority -- no doubt to show the US how 'progressive' the UK is.

Canada proves, yet again, why they're the cooler country -- they've legalized swinger's clubs. Unlike the US, who shrugs and says, "well, it's not IL-legal, exactly...", Canada's courts determined, 7-2, that there's nothing inherently harmful to society about swinging. Oh, and not just 'swinging,' but partner-swapping and group sex were explicitly included as A-OK activities. Canada's position is summed up according to Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin: "Moral views, even if strongly held, do not suffice...As members of a diverse society, we must be prepared to tolerate conduct of which we disapprove." Laugh at Canada's accent all you want -- the words are truer than any others in a true democracy.

Sex toys are reaching social acceptance -- drugstores are adding more 'pleasure' products in addition to their sterile and utilitarian 'sperm blocking' wares, and those condom producers are developing lines of toys marketed more tastefully than the standard 'orgasmic porn star' packaging that domainates the shelves of dirty bookstores today.

These have to be the GREATEST EBAY PRODUCT PHOTOS EVER! Sad thing is -- I've seen ebay sellers doing exactly this in their real auctions.

Sex is more work for women -- if only because their ass of a male partner are too stupid to do anything about it. Much of this article's theories are about two incompatible people trying to move forward entirely on the back of the woman's effort. Why excuse the male ass from his responsibility? Apparently, because waiting for the man to make any sort of move is a guaranteed loss.

Less than a week left to buy a porn company on eBay! Zero bids, $100,000 starting price -- it's a steal for a debtless company with valuable intellectual property. Be sure to check out the 'product shots' from different various...ahem...angles.

An in-store demonstration video demonstrated a bit more than chopping onions. It's downright amazing. Pornography turns up everywhere: blank tapes, videos returned to the rental shop, video cameras returned at Best Buy. No wonder everyone loves porn -- you can't go anyplace without running across it accidentally!

The double-standard is shrinking -- boys getting laid by Mrs Robinson are ending up with their older lover in jail. Double standards are never good, even if it involves in people getting more sex, so you women: go get laid by someone your own age. You complain about grown men being childish and annoying? Teens are even worse. While teens aren't supposed to be having sex, they're better off doing it with other teens so both of them can grow out of their stupid years. You, cradle-robbing ladies, aren't going to grow out of your stupidity.

Great sex and creativity are linked -- although generations of musicians and artists can already attest to this, at least science is finally proving something worthwhile for us. Hooray science!

Your species is better off with fewer males. Apparently,an overabundance of violent, stupid, clumsy males can injure and kill enough females to completely ruin the ability to further the species. I, for one, am a smart, caring, genle male, and should be kept for reproduction purposes when the lady stormtroopers start equalizing the human race.

Searching for "Erotic Mittens" on GIS totally does not produce search results of pornographic hand-warmers. Well, I supppose it depends on your definition of 'hand warmers', but....um...I'm thinking way to much about this, so I better stop now.

How to get into the XXX Website Design Industry: be good at your job. Who knew? Job perks include being separated from the 'talent', looking at pornographic pictures on a per-pixel level, and being paid less than at the bigger corporate IT departments. Glamour isn't what you're looking for: it's the business card, with your name just below the name of a porn website corporation, that is your reward.

The guy from the 1980s encyclopedia commercials attends a porn shoot. No, I wasn't running a random-word generator: he actually did, with photos to prove he was actually there.


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