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Sexy Office Gals!

OK, I'm done with bullshit list day - here's the last one: 48 sexy office chicks. You know how to tell if a woman works in an office? She wears glasses, has hair in a bun, and has some sort of button-up-collared-shirt and a tie. In other words, we've replaced "schoolmarm" with "secretary" as mankinds "sexy but uptight" fantasy, because as we all know, when she lets her hair down and the glasses come off, her gigantic, soft tits are not far behind.

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1990s Bands!

Today must be bullshit list day - most of the music I listen to is 90s music, which is now, like 15-20 years old. There's kids graduating highschool that are older than the CDs in my truck. Anyhow, here's 19 of the best 90s bands nobody remembers anymore. Well, except for old losers like me. All are pretty much right on, although 311 sucks, MC Hammer sucks (he's 90s?), Counting Crows kinda sucks, but the rest are pretty spot on. I picked up a House of Pain tape cassette at a rummage sale last summer, and it's one of my favorite things in the world these days. That sentence right there is why I didn't read the article ironically, like the hipsters who were looking for something 'new' to glom on to.

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Sex Ed Videos!

Holy crap, I remember at least two of these, and it's no wonder I turned out all fucked up when it comes to sex: the ten wierdest sex ed videos. By 'weird', they mean poorly written, naiive, and bad acting, so it's less 'weird' than 'unsuccessful'. Me, I heard that one time a kid had a boner and it didn't stop getting harder and bigger until it got so big that it broke off. Serious, that one kid who has all the Hustlers told me about it. None of these videos tell me how to prevent that from happening to me. No wonder so many people died due to sexual experience without these films.

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Naked Moms!

She's no model, not a porn star, but she jumped through that hoop and posed naked for everyone to see. Four of them arranged to pose naked for an artistic photo shoot. Unfortunately, it's as dogs playing poker, but she wants everyone to remember, as one of the kids would say, "it's okay, Mom; it's just boobies."

Huge Tits In The Bath

The wet turquoise shirt clung to her breasts, which bounced intriguingly as she laughed. She managed to get her jeans off before jumping in the tub, but she couldn't help herself. I, however, don't get that far before I'm in the tub, too. Her shirt is off, soapy breasts pressing into my chest, as I feel her hands fiddling with my fly under the surface of the water. "These need to come off," she says:

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Tony Clifton!

Tony Clifton, who may or may not be Andy Kaufman depending on what performance you saw, starts out talking about business, but then starts talking about how awesome the Nevada prostitution industry is. I don't know how full of shit he is (90% of the time it sounds like 100%), but he's got good things to say, so I gotta respect the guy for that.

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No Third Boob!

An Italian stripper headed off to Croatia to find a plastic surgeon who'd do a special project for her. You know if she has to go to Croatia, no good will come of this. The stripper wanted the plastic surgeon to add a third breast to her already entertaining chest, but the plastic surgeon, sadly, declined. I'm sure, eventually, she'll find a plastic surgeon who'll do it - I hear in Russia you can get five or six if you really want, I mean, it's Russia, but for the time being her customers will have to do with the two that God gave her. See also.