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Hooker Grave: Slutty!
 Over in Germany, where being a well-known prostitute isn't a bad thing, the authorities are up in arms because one so-called famous hooker's grave is too slutty for pubilc consumption. The photo in the article isn't it (although it's not hard on the eyes): the original gravestone design was " a gravestone featuring two ample pink marble boulders in homage to her famously top-heavy figure..." So, one more rule for my notebook: graveyard tits are too slutty.
...Or She Gets It!
 Marlys knew her brother was a production assistant on a film, but visiting him on the set reveals he left out one small detail about the nature of the films he worked on. Little did she know, today was the day Buffy would finally snap. " Alright, nobody move, otherwise the homely chick I've never seen before gets it!" 
More from this gallery >> Labels: actiongirls, gun, porn star, wtf
Girls In Seat Belts!
 There's a fetish for everybody, including people obsessed with how hot passenger safety is. Jalopink has a gallery of seat belt fetish pictures, which has more to do with huge breasts bound by nylon straps, but more accessible than the average BDSM. But, hell: big tits? Count me in, anyways.
Sex: Completely Unknown!
 The human race is still completely in the dark ages: nobody knows what sex is. Records indicate that thousands of years have passed since any human has experienced sex, and even that is believed to be an accident. Even going to the dictionary definition of sex is no help, because its vague, inspecific definition means nobody could possibly be doing something that fully fits that bill. Come on, now, CBS: bending the definition is a time-honored condition of being an dick - you weren't speeding, you were only going 5 over; you weren't bribed, they just hired you as a consultant; you weren't having an affair, the tranny blowjobs just happened; and so on and so forth. When having sex is a bad thing, the abstinence-only kids have anal and nonpenetrative... petting?...that still spreads disease, Republicans can stand behind family values because, hey, their line-crossing doesn't cross lines because the definition is different for them, and Good Christians can still have abortions because, by definition, they're a Good Christian, it's those whores who are going to hell. It's nice that a guy writing behind an alias can be all high-and-fucking-mighty about honesty and truth, but nobody said I'm not one of those rule-bending dicks. Problem is, when you're called on your definition-bending dickery, don't push yourself into assholedom by denying it.
Michael Jackson Body Paint!
Go Vintage!
 Men's Style has an exceedingly annoying flash interface for it (otherwise I would have given it separate appropriate links), but sometimes stylish people can be idiots, too, and it's too cool to overlook. They've released a list of awesome vintage stuff that will make you look cool today, which includes some awesome things like vintage erotica and vintage cameras, both of which are excellent lists despite some minor snubs (no K1000? For shame.) A lot is, of course, out of the price range of an average shmo, but for once the overpriced stuff is actually worth it, unlike the majority of stuff on these style sites. Labels: fashion, retro, vintage
Police Porn OK!
 Photographs of topless women have been taken in front of an Edmonton police station - and the cops are OK with it. See, Canada, this is why you're so awesome: nobody there freaks out about breasts. Down here, even one breast in the mouth of a baby results in shock and outrage. So, here's to you, Canada - your love of breasts makes you the king of North America!
Vibrator: Does A Body Good!
 Two studies show that lots of people have vibrators, half of women use them regularly, and they're good for sexual health. Yes, that includes guys, who've used them on their partners, but their use reflects a greater interest in their own sexual health as a results. The study didn't show that vibrators themselves caused health, but that people who gave a shit about their health tended to thus pay more attention to their genitals than they otherwise would. So, ladies, if you haven't got a vibrator yet, you best do so: I can guarantee it'll be better for you in the long run, and you'll definitely use it more than the treadmill that's busy holding up last winter's Christmas decorations and a box of sweaters.
Take All Seven Inches!
 Ah, Burger King, we know you like square butts, but now you want to shove your big 7-incher into women's faces. Now, I know the internet is rife with 4chan photoshops, but this appears to be real: however, it's an overseas ad, so we Americans will have to find another reason to jack off while waiting in line for your Steakhouse Mushroom & Swiss burger.  Labels: advertisement, burger king, food, sex sells
4-Hour Erections: None!
" I suppose it's funny to talk about...But it's not funny when it happens to you," is a news quote that applies to nearly every sex story. In this case, however, it talks about Priapism, that surgeon's general warning on Viagra about the perils of a 4-hour erection. The good news is that the doctors interviewed have never had a patient actually come in with an engorged cock due to erectile drugs, but the problem can be caused by a number of other physical problems, and could cause penis damage. So, stop worrying, pill-popping grandpa penis: an excessive erection is the least of the problems Viagara can cause for you - it's just the funniest one.
Female Orgasm Blog!
 Finally, after all these years of hiding from men being so elusive, the female orgasm has a blog of its own. The Male Orgasm tried to have a blog of its own, started out big with MySpace and all those flashy bells-and-whistles, but it ended up with just a Twitter account. This blog is run by some guy calling himself Harry Mete (just say it out loud, won't you?), who knows how to give orgasms, but little understanding on the use of fonts and colors in marketing his amazing orgasm-inducing system that advertises itself to cause sex addicts. For limited time only, not only do you get the G-Spot, but - for only additional handling cost - we'll include the A-Spot and C-Spot absolutely free! ( via)
Women: Fickle!
A new study has released a freaking bombshell: Men's definition of attractiveness in women is pretty consistent, but women are far more nuanced and varying in their choice of attractiveness in males. Amazing! This, they say, has to do with women's neurotic obsession with appearance, because they're all working towards that attractive shape, while men don't care as much, because women don't agree on anything, so why try. The study has a lot of holes, because, hell, BBW women get laid too, and it runs on the assumption that women are looking for a body and not a man of action. "We asked men to identify cool cars entirely by color and fuel efficiency, and their answers were all over the place; this proves men are fickle and unpredictable in their car-shopping behavior!" Er, no, look again.
All Downhill From Here!
Sorry, ladies, don't get your hopes up: a recent study shows you're having the best sex of your life at 28. In fact, you're happiest all-around at that point in your life - everything after that sucks. So, don't worry: you'll only have, what, fifty, sixty more years ahead of you? Like pornstars, football players, and actresses, you've passed that hump, it's all downhill from here.
Handjob Tips!
Guys might not be thinking that far ahead (and by the time you're ready to help, we've lost our cognitive thought abilities), but, ladies, we haven't realize that, by the time we got laid for the first time, guys have had enormous experience stroking a cock to fruition. LoveHoney's here to help you uneducated ladies with ten tips for giving an awesome handjob. And, hey, if you're a guy inexperienced in wanking, you might get some tips, too...but what have you been doing if you're masturbatory experienced is limited? There's not a hobby I've heard of that could distract men from their own penis that much. And, frankly, if you're a guy who hasn't masturbated much, go find a woman to do it to you; you won't be disappointed.
Shoot Porn Of Yourself!
 Ladies, ever wanted to know how to take sexy pictures of yourself? I mean, what guy wouldn't like surprise nude photos of their sex partner - or pictures of himself doing nasty things to you? Em & Lo have a list of what to do, so you don't end up with frumpy, uncomfortable pictures of a hot naked chick. Unless that's what turns you significant other on. "All-nude photos of clumsy, annoyed babes!" isn't any tagline I've seen online, though, so don't think that's going to get the best response.
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