Sex Is A Red-Blooded Thing

Flower Farter Redux

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:57:00 +0000

OK, if I've found more than one photo like this, completely accidentally, flower-farting must be a valid fetish. Go figure?

Online Porn: Good For Kids!

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:55:00 +0000

According to a new Harvard study, "...the increased popularity of the Internet in America has not been correlated with an overall increase in reported sexual offenses; overall sexual offenses against children have gone steadily down in the last 18 years" - meaning that the availability of online hookups, midget porn, and Second Life sex are good for kids! Who knew? Oh, wait - all the people who had been saying it would be a good idea to allow people a safe, solitary outlet for their sexual predilections that doesn't involve harming another person, but, well, those people were ignored. Yay, intellectuals who understand human behavior!

Nerd: In Fashion

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:18:00 +0000

Look for "Pee-Wee Herman Meets Malcolm X" to be a new fashion buzzphrase. Somehow, Malcolm X represents nerdiness, mostly because he wore nice suits and dark-rimmed glasses, but that was the custom at the time - today, if you do it, somehow you're seen as intelligensia if you wear suits with ties and dark- or horn-rimmed glasses...because you're a hot nerd! You look smart! You read books when nobody is looking! The only people who will benefit from this are the genuine nerds, who are more likely to be mistaken for hipsters, rather than the other way around.

Axe = DEAD

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:23:00 +0000

Obey those warnings on that 'stink can' you spray yourself with five times a day, Mr. Stinky Axewipe - you could just end up dead like this young lad. A possible heart defect and an overly small bathroom contributed to his demise, which means Unilever isn't going to get sued, but it should be a stern warning for dumb, smelly teens: Axe is gonna do you in.

Tom Jones Is Poor

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:04:00 +0000

Sadly, former international superstar and man of mystery, Tom Jones, has been utterly crushed by the economic slump, and he has resorted to singing on a streetcorner, begging for money. Mr. Jones was reportedly singing next to an open, empty guitar case full of women's dirty panties, begging people for money - any money - but no more panties.

Garden Gnome Gnookers

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:55:00 +0000

Scantily-clad women by the roadside are a guaranteed distraction, but Belgian garden gnome manufacturer Cristi Birgu figured he could channel some of that by manufacturing some naughty garden gnomes that look like hookers plying their wares. If only there were some international means of communication and commerce that Mr. Cirbu could use to market and sell his sexy plastic women, he'd be a brazillionaire. Link above to Ananova's English translation; original Belgianiese in the link below.

Lizard People For Al Franken

noreply@blogger.com (CR/LF) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:47:00 +0000

It's about half-way down in this MPR page, but someone who preferred to vote for the Lizard People in the presidential election had a change of heart, and decided Al Franken was the better state leader. Or maybe this is finally the proof we needed to show Franken's alignment with the Lizard People - dear God, it all makes sense now!